would support widespread claims that rescue workers responding to the bombing were unable to reach the destroyed Golden Gate Bridge because of rush-hour traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge.

new evidence has caused us to rethink the nature of the attack," FBI director Robert S. Mueller III said

"Specifically the repeated loop of 1950s-era automobiles traveling on the bridge when the first missile hit, the heavy pixilation around the edges of the seventh explosion, and the several inches of green material on both sides of the frame."

this

retaliatory bombings in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iran have been halted

"We are looking into the possibility that the noticeable hole in the top right-hand corner of the sky might not have been a naturally occurring phenomenon,"

When asked if green-screen technology could have been behind

the tidal wave that destroyed Boston

Mueller responded, "Absolutely not. Well, wait. Maybe."