clipped from: fullexposureandtanlines.blogspot.com 1. I was so poor growing up if I wasn't a boy, I'd have had nothing to play with.
2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home. "I went over. Nobody was home.
3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
4. One day I came home early from work. I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early."
5. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning, put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
6. I was such an ugly kid that when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.
8. I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.