The Married Male Mind

In a national survey of nearly 300 American husbands and in-depth interviews with 70 men in all stages of marriage, Chethik explores what makes them happy and what frustrates them.  The encouraging news:  93 percent of all husbands he spoke to said that they'd marry the same woman again given the chance.  But while 82 percent are satisfied with their sex lives, Chethik reports that men are sometimes "astounded by how long women can go without thinking about sex." 

Chethik: 'Men learn how to be husbands from watching their fathers be husbands'

Are married men unhappy with the amount of sex they get?
Not usually, but sometimes men will wait out a woman and say to themselves, I wonder how long it will be before she'll initiate sex?  And men are astounded by how long women can go without thinking about sex, and women are astounded by how long men can go without thinking about housecleaning.  For a woman, the atmosphere in the home is part of what makes her feel good and sexy.  And for a man, the communication that's going on sexually is part of what makes him feel he's in a happy place. And it's not only sex. Almost every level of happiness, and positiveness in relationships is related to housework.

What most surprised you most in doing these interviews?
One thing that strikes me was that 60 percent of men said that their wives had changed them in a significant way and 90 percent said that it was a change for the better.  I would agree with the statement that you don't go into a relationship expecting to change a man. But, men recognize that marriage is life-changing, and they usually like their wives enough to be changed by her. Men don't want to be criticized or nagged or complained to, they want to be accepted, but once they feel accepted, they are willing to change.