BRITAIN'S police forces have been overrun by idiot, racist vampires, it was claimed last night.

This vampire policeman tried to eat an egg while wearing a helmet

As bags of human blood were discovered in staffroom fridges, vampirologists said every community in Britain was now under threat from rampaging hordes of blood-thirsty morons with tasers and nightsticks.

Dr Wayne Hayes, of Reading University, said: "They are vampires but because they're also policemen it means they're idiot vampires who were too stupid for the army.

"They don't bite people on the neck because they know absolutely nothing about human anatomy.

"It's much easier for them to just beat their victims until blood starts to come out. Then they soak up it with a sponge, squeeze it into a plastic bag and bung it in the fridge."

Dr Hayes said the really stupid vampire policemen are keeping urine and stool samples in the same fridge and then trying to concoct some sort of lunch out of them.