2. And yet it seems that an emphasis on knowledge creates giant obstacles to happiness. We recall that Dickinson poem where it looks like asking too many questions about a lover will destroy love. The problem goes deeper than potential nitpicking, of course: it looks like, regarding any lover, that the hopes one has invested in a lover and the lover her/himself are always in conflict. Our hopes for someone refer us to something like Providence: we make them greater than they are, we hold them up to standards that their everyday selves couldn't possibly achieve. We think all will be well in due time. Nevermind that Providence can be an exceptionally cold thing, so much so we may not care how much the object of love loses as long as they're satisfying our expectation.