The difference between Government Bonds and men is that Government Bonds mature.
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is
nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it
correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
Have you ever wondered why it takes MILLIONS of sperm and
only one egg to make a baby? It's because not one of those little surfers will stop
and ask for directions!
If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
A man says to his wife, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
"OK," says his wife as she gets up and unplugs the TV.
A man's idea of helping with the housework is lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
clipped from: www.dennydavis.net