1. My Internet doesn't use flash, evahhh. Unless it's a video, and then only for video.

2. My Internet prefers html text wherever possible.

4. My Internet lets me use a password entirely of my own choosing. It doesn't make me add numbers or Capitals wH3re I don't want them.

5. My Internet values simplicity and clarity over almost everything else.

8. My Internet has absolute urls for everything.

10. If My Internet was forced to choose between speed and visual lushness, speed would win easily.

11. My Internet has no back, forward or print buttons. That's what My Browser is for.

12. My Internet has contact details clearly accessible right from the word go.

13. My Internet will not work for everyone, everywhere, always, at the same time, all the time. It will especially not work for CEO's Aunties.

My internet does not ever, ever, EVER try to resize my window... thankfully this is less common nowadays.

My internet replaced my tv.