12. If you live across the street, please don’t call for a delivery. Get off your rear end and pick up the pizza yourself.

13. I probably break a speeding law once a day.

14. After I leave this job, I'm sure I won’t be able to eat pizza for at least a year.

15. The majority of customers who stand there chatting about the weather are just trying to make up for not giving us tips.

16. You ordered the pizza. You know how much it costs. Please have your money (and tip) ready when you answer the door.

17. I don't have the authority to give you a discount. Really, I don't. I'm just the delivery guy.